Entries for October, 2004

October 5th, 2004

EXHIBITIONIST POSTED AT 10:20 AM duskee n. someone who exhibits hahaha... I think I'm a workaholic. I don't want to be. But it seems I'm headed in that direction. I suppose you would be too if you're working your dream job. So even if i rant and bitch about my work sometimes, ignore me. I might be a victim of a cause whose fulfillment would not happen in my lifetime, but at least I have a cause. Do i get commended for that? hahahah what say you

manok! POSTED AT 02:26 PM duskee Hmmm... Tastes like Chicken. Am I chicken? Am I a frog? Am I human? All unfamiliar meats taste like chicken, and that's what I am, an unfamiliar meat. What Flavour Are You? so what exactly does that mean?

family picture
POSTED AT 01:20 PM

duskee

this is one of the many reasons why i love my work...

i'm off
POSTED AT 07:55 AM

duskee

to see the wizard...

not really...

i'm heading back to the mountain today. we were supposed to leave an hour ago but they told me, exactly an hour ago that we would be a bit late. gee, thanks for the heads up *insert sarcasm here*

so again, this little piggy woke up early. this little piggy took a bath. this little piggy drove to the office. just to find out that this little piggy didn't really have to do all those things just yet. as this little piggy wished she was still home.

i'm a bit torn right now. although i am psyched up to go back on field, i wanna stay in the city to help out with the exhibit. oh well...

gotta find me some breakfast before i die of hunger.

text me or ym me.

this is my life
POSTED AT 04:42 PM

duskee

i think people should just leave me alone.

they should stop telling me that ***** isn't there or where ever else.

they should stop asking me where ***** is cause i really don't know and most of the time, i really don't care. diba? i don't naman talaga. right *****?

oh heck with it.

i know i'm not doing anything wrong. ***** knows i'm not doing anything wrong. i don't think ***** is doing anything wrong. or is he? hahahaha...

this is my life.

i'ma live it the way i feel.

if you've got a problem with it, take it to court!

let the sun shine
POSTED AT 01:15 PM

duskee

For the past three weeks in the mountain, I have been struggling with myself. I walked in empty darkness almost always in anger. Then I realized, that I have been a zombie of my emotions for a while now.

I have let a lot of things affect me. I am on the borderline of letting all those things take over my life. Despite all my struggles, I realized that what I really need to do is let go.

I have been fighting an imaginary battle with myself. I have said time and again that I have put my weapons to rest. Just as I am about to retreat, I suddenly, and expectedly, charge.

Half of the time I feel like I am looking at my life without living it. Half of the time I am surprised at how I've acted. Half of the time I just don't care. But what scares me, is almost all of the time, I don't know myself.

I want to reclaim me. I have to do me. I have to let the sun shine just like I always have.

I have let the world so affect me that I was almost willing to give up who I was. I almost forgot what I loved about everything and anything and nothing.

I can not stop being Camille. And I refuse to let circumstances or people define what Camille should stand for.

This IS my life. But this time, I say that without hostility, or angst. I say it in declaration that I am taking over.

Someone once asked me if I found my smile. I said I always did. That time I lied. Because what I really lost was myself.

Now I decide to start living and walking the path I almost abandoned. Now I know I have never lost my smile. I just let the darkness hide it.

But I have let the sun shine.

The only darkness left now is my skin.