Lost and Left Out
POSTED AT 11:43 AM

duskee

PLDT's P10/call promo is bad. It reminds me of how much I am missing out by choosing to stay in paradise. I really do miss my friends. After living in Davao for almost six years now, I still sometimes feel like we just moved here yesterday.

I hate to admit it, but I have very few friends. Here in Davao, the list is shorter. Maybe if I chose to stay in my higher-paying-shorter-hours-not-as-tiring-corporate job I wouldn't have friends at all. It's only as a field biologist did I meet wonderful people to hang out with. *insert a tear here*

It really feels like I sometimes slept through my teens and woke up as a yuppie. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now.

-----

Having "good communicatio skills" as my only noted (and insulting) strength turns a researcher to a pissed-researcher-doing-what-she-would-have-been-doing-if-she-stayed-with-her-higher-paying-shorter-hours-not-as-tiring-corporate-job.

I miss going on field. But if this is the only niche I could occupy here, I guess I'd bear it. I concede to this fate. But I am afraid I would end up with more reasons to leave than stay.

It's not easy to be made to choose between family and the bird. Some say you chose the bird. But I guess the choice is easier for those whose families are falling apart.

I don't want another reason to lose respect for someone I admired so much. I don't want another reason to be angry at a person who is mean probably because she has not felt real love in her life. That's why, I'm going on that trip. More than the glamour of it all, I need to leave to have a reason to come back and stay.

I just want to live my dream without nightmares.

Bouncing around
POSTED AT 09:14 AM

duskee

I'm so excited.

I'm going to spend 2 nights and 2 days (because I arrrive tomorrow night and go home Tuesday afternoon) with my grandmother. Woohoo...

 Leaves are oh so fun. The only down-side is you have to go back to work after that. But, it no matter. Me go see my lola, get spoiled and then spoil my cousins. Hopefully, I'd get to spend time with my hi-school-hard-core-die-hard-pals. Woohoo...

AND...

I'm going on field! I am so excited. I can't wait... woohoo...

Oh no.... I gotta finish all these documents before I leave. It no matter!!!

 Boing!

Currently feeling: tulo sipon happy

City Adventure
POSTED AT 03:22 AM

duskee

I have always said that I don't need more adventure in my life, except if it doesn't involve the mountain.

Tonight/Today, I got my wish.

I was able to spend some time with my high school friends. It was fun to be able to hang out with them, especially since I've been feeling quite sentimental lately. I was also able to finally meet the much talked about girl and am now able to make up my own opinion.

Went to visit another friend and fell asleep on the hammock while my ex-husband was rocking it.

But on the way home, the car broke down.

We had to push another car hoping it would work.

But it didn't.

So we pushed some more.

And more.

But, it still didn't run.

So now, I'm in his shirt (because mine was so wet with sweat) and I'm sleeping in his room with my yamyam.

It was a long night. It's like the gimmick that would never end. But I wouldn't want to be any where else in the world than here... tired, in his room, in his shirt, with my yamyam, after pushing the car that didn't work.

I got my city adventure. Now I'm prepared for almost anything.

*Edited 2220H* I was in the same flight as my first boss, the one who liked me and respected me, the one who was willing to double my salary to get me back. I saw what I gave up. And I am still proud of my decision of leaving all that for a bird.

Currently feeling: still high from pushing

Post
POSTED AT 02:57 PM

duskee

I had two weeks of fun on field. I'm too tired to talk about it now.

Field
POSTED AT 01:00 PM

duskee

I went to Cabuaya, Mati for two weeks. It was so fun. We see the Pacific Ocean every morning. The problem is, walang tubig. We paid someone to bring us water for drinking and cooking. But there is never enough for bathing. Stinky! So we had to wait for rain. In two weeks, I was only able to bathe three times. Hehehehe.... It's a good thing that I am a girl, the only girl in the group, so I will always smell better compared to them. Going home, I hiked the entire way down without stopping. It took me about an hour and a half. Then I took an almost two hour hired motorcycle ride to the next Municipal so that I can ride the bus. Ang pangit ng daan! Lubak, putik, ilog, pataas, pababa... every off road condition you could think off. But we didn't fall or slip so that is a good thing. When I got to the town, the bus just left. There was supposed to be another bus in an hour but it never came. So I waited there, in a baranggay I have never been to, for four hours. The bus ride was about seven hours. It was the first time I took that bus so I really didn't know the route. Finally, at 9pm, after an entire day of walking, waiting and travelling, I was home. What bites a bit though is that the other team who went on field in another Municipal was also on their way home. Had I caught the earlier bus, I would have been able to catch up with them. My body was so painful all over there is no way to describe it. I was walking like bagong tuli ako. hehehe... And the best news of all, I'm going on vacation next week. I'll be out of coverage area. I get to see my best friends and barkada before I leave and get to be able to greet two of them a Happy Birthday face to face, something I haven't been able to do in six years. That's even better news.

Crap
POSTED AT 09:36 AM

duskee

I feel like crap.

 Not just because I'm sick and working. But because things aren't going so well between me and my best friends. Well, it's mostly my two best friends among themselves.

I want things to be fixed. I don't want to lose what we have.

I feel like crap. 

Currently feeling: crappy