CHOOSE
POSTED AT 07:46 AM

duskee

Today I made a choice...

...I hope it is the right one.

this life
POSTED AT 12:16 PM

duskee

i haven't updated in 78,000 years. mostly because my updates are on the negative side.

so many things have been happening and they're all happening so fast. sometimes it feels like my life is like watching some flip-flop show on tv.

sometimes it feels like reading a book you wished you didn't have to.

but most of the time, it's just really great to be me.

i know that i rant about the "injustice" in the world i move around a lot. it takes up most of my almost-never-there free time.

understand, i rant not because you're important. i rant because it's how i get over you. that's why, to your disappointment, i don't look the part of the victim that you think i am.

yes, it hurts.

yes, i feel abused.

yes, i want to give up more than you think.

but no, i refuse to let you take away the joy of my passion.

no, you will not win.

and you will see more of me.

i call it revenge.  you can call it whatever you like.

because the more you try to hurt me, the more i want to be better.

this is my life, and though you're part of it, you don't have to rule it.

escape
POSTED AT 08:32 PM

duskee

i think i've reached the bottom. yet i have found a way to rise above it.

i just want out.

This thin thread
POSTED AT 09:47 AM

duskee

A parrot once told me that if I play with a piece of thread long enough, it would soon break.

The parrot was right.

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Right now, there's this thing that keeps hanging over my head. Well, monsters dangle it over my head. I don't want it there. It does not belong to me, but it haunts me every day, especially when my eyes are wide open. My nightmares are worse when the sun is out.

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It sounds cheesy, but I constantly feel, hear and see my heartbreak. And I'm afraid that the next time, I would give up and just walk away.

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How does one save face while answering the innate need to defend one’s self?

How do you confront your demons, when your demons walk in the light?

==========
My life is their inconvenience. My pain is their blood.

I don’t want to serve this purpose. But it seems I have no other.

==========
My life is that feeble piece of thin thread.

It’s been tugged and pulled, rolled and twisted, folded up, thrown away. They refuse to accept it and refuse to let it go.

Unfortunately, the parrot was right. The parrot was too right.

Announcement
POSTED AT 06:16 PM

duskee

It just has to be said...

I HATE THIS DAY.

Every year I hate it.

That's all.

Now back to your regular programming.